hindsight

so there was this thing that happened on friday that i didnt really think much of the time but it led to a series of events that have caused much inner turmoil for me

i have always said that i dont have regrets

i wont regret a bad decision i will try to learn from it

but there is one decision that comes up every now and then that always ends up going the same way for me

its not even a mistake and at the time it feels so good that i cant say no

but when the end of the night approaches and i realise that i wont be taking the feeling home and that it will probably be another year before i know it again i start to lose rationality

im also too stubborn/stupid to apologise and too insecure to fight for what i want