ive been thinking about some of my past relationships
both in terms of partners and friends that i have had
i find it easy to meet people but difficult to form a lasting bond
the few times ive been comfortable enough with someone to open up about my inner demons they are usually put off by what i reveal
im still looking for that someone who i can trust and will still stand by me no matter what
in the meantime i shall continue to operate the way i have done
losing friends and alienating people
im sure theres a movie about that
Wednesday 28 April 2010
Monday 19 April 2010
doubt
im a procrastinator
i will put off making a decision for as long as i can but some of the big choices are inevitable
leaving france, going to uni, buying a car
annoyingly each time ive made a big decision something seems to change that makes me wonder if ive made the right one
its happening now
i recently made up my mind about something that im going to do but over the past few weeks things have been changing in my current lifestyle that i can only describe as improvements
enough to make me change my mind? probably not
enough to make me doubt though
i will put off making a decision for as long as i can but some of the big choices are inevitable
leaving france, going to uni, buying a car
annoyingly each time ive made a big decision something seems to change that makes me wonder if ive made the right one
its happening now
i recently made up my mind about something that im going to do but over the past few weeks things have been changing in my current lifestyle that i can only describe as improvements
enough to make me change my mind? probably not
enough to make me doubt though
Wednesday 7 April 2010
confident
but not cocky
not neccessarily muscular or super fit
good sense of humour
willingness to dance?
money?
no mention of looks
no mention of style sense
when you ask a man what he looks for in a woman the answers will often be physical because the question is interpreted as what attracts you to women upon first seeing them
the same question is interpreted by a women as what traits would make a man a suitable long term partner
i know what i find physically attractive
i have a rough idea of what women find physically unattractive and i try to avoid being those things
i used to be told that i looked older than i was
i had an air of maturity and experience beyond my years
ive reached a point where people now say i look exactly as i should for my age
which means i havent matured or gained experience since those previous comments
to echo a phrase coined by a friend i feel that my soul is frozen
but in the time and space way not the icy cold way that he suggests
not neccessarily muscular or super fit
good sense of humour
willingness to dance?
money?
no mention of looks
no mention of style sense
when you ask a man what he looks for in a woman the answers will often be physical because the question is interpreted as what attracts you to women upon first seeing them
the same question is interpreted by a women as what traits would make a man a suitable long term partner
i know what i find physically attractive
i have a rough idea of what women find physically unattractive and i try to avoid being those things
i used to be told that i looked older than i was
i had an air of maturity and experience beyond my years
ive reached a point where people now say i look exactly as i should for my age
which means i havent matured or gained experience since those previous comments
to echo a phrase coined by a friend i feel that my soul is frozen
but in the time and space way not the icy cold way that he suggests
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